so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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