Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
