I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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