No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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