ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
