Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
