i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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