I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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