So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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