Me. At least after what I've been through.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
