Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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