Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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