She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
