the condom got lost in my hair
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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