i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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