I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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