I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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