So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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