I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
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i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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