Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
