question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this beer tastes like vomit already
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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