I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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