Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
