I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
