just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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