i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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