Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize