you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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