please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
