Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
