I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize