You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize