I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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