i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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