New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't turn off my feet"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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