Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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