I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
