If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
