in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
