So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
