please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize