If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
