Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
