Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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