i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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