shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
