i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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