Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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