Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
