And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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