i need an iv and a liver transplant
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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