Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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