they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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