i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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