No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
