I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize