Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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