No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Couch. On fire.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
