if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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