Already got asked if we're dating
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
