You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He felt like a one man threesome
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
