Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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